HIPPIE HANGOVER We who are retired must have been struck by the way attitudes have changed since we were young in the forties and fifties. Older people have whinged 'O the times! O the manners!' since time immemorial, but I hope the point I want to make is more than just the moan of an old misery who also grumbles about the weather and the government as a matter of course. My point is that social change in the sixties and seventies caused a radical shift in outlook which has had an enormous effect on those of impressionable years - and which is alive and kicking today. Of course there are other influences on the young beside the spirit of the times - genetic make-up and education for a start. And those who were young in the sixties and seventies comprised many who rejected the hippie culture, and became rational and hard-working adults. 'I'm evolving through the drugs that you put down!' chants a character in 'Hair', the tribal love- rock musical of 1966. Perhaps 'revolving' would have been more accurate? But is it better to evolve through drugs, I wonder, or do without the drugs and remain unevolved? Sex, drugs and rock-'n'-roll evolved dramatically through those years, and didn't the media make a meal of the new-found freedom of expression? These things, however - sex, drugs and rock-'n'-roll, are merely outward and visible signs of inner transformations. It was, above all, the 'me' generation, the era of 'me-ism', for want of a better word. Self-dramatisation and self-absorption were the characteristics of the age, beyond the tribal gimmickry. Self-actualisation was another term popular then as now, woolly though it is to me. The greatest pop icons of the day were those who embodied 'me-ism' with most panache. Do you recall those incantations? 'Light up and be somebody' was not a reference to tobacco. Then there were 'Turn on, tune in, drop out', 'Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law', and 'if it feels good, do it'. The flower children really annoyed me, not because I secretly yearned to prance around decked with flowers instead of looking after husband, children and home, but because the 'International Times' and ~Berkeley Barb', publications reflecting the hippie ethos, proclaimed sex, drugs and rock-'n'-roll as universal panaceas. Those days are long gone, you might say, so why bother now? Because there is a lot of baggage from those days still hanging around, a messy legacy which permeates our lives. The 'me-ism' not only remains, but has bloomed into many fantastic New Age guises which claim to boost our egos and promise us untellable satisfaction. So what's wrong with that - or the fact that people make money out of them? 'Me-ism' implies that you are perfect and always were so, so could never have done anything wrong. Any illness you have, any discomfort you feel, must have been caused by others. Writers have made fortunes out of books which blame any inadequacy on, for example, supposedly 'pathological' or 'toxic' family interaction. What this boils down to is that Mum, as the primary caregiver, cops the blame. Wouldn't she be unwilling to increase your hostility by calling you unreasonable? And doesn't the distress that she is showing look very much like guilt? She - or Dad - is a most convenient peg on which to hang blame for the mess you have made of your life. It is also commonly held by those writers that it is good for you to tolerate and even forgive everyone in society - even criminals who presumably also had toxic parents! I am afraid that to be the parent of a child of the 'me' generation is like committing that sin against the Holy Ghost which we learn shall not be forgiven. Tolerance of everyone else - particularly of oneself - becomes an idol, even receiving the stamp of political correctness. These universally tolerant people do not seem to realise that tolerance must be deserved - or earned. Neither do they realise that in many cases intolerance of one's parents is neither deserved nor earned. 'If it feels good, do it. If it feels bad, anaesthetise it'. This mantra of me-ism has been around for some time. There are many forms of anaesthetic around these days and blaming others for one's own shortcomings is a favourite. What is the legacy of those far-off hippie days? A society which tends to be largely self-absorbed. A society in which self-indulgence outweighs responsibility. 'But', we hear the younger generation shrieking, 'We have escaped from the bounds of imposed morality! We are free!' Yes, this sounds fine - but free to do what? Free to discover yourself, or free to be totally self-absorbed? When they reach this stage, they are, paradoxically, entrapped by the loss of boundaries. They are stranded and vulnerable, unwilling to stand on their own two feet, ripe for the seductive whisperings of New Age psychologists who fashionably suggest that they shift their guilt onto others. 'Me-ism' and its ramifications have created a climate in which escape from the pain of living is paramount. They may use tobacco, alcohol or gambling as props - but these aren't props but addictions, and those who become addicted will once again blame others for their addictions. The fact is that grief, rejection, loneliness, boredom and illness are part of life, and coping with them instead of running away is a necessary part of our character development. Helping others, instead of blaming them, is a way of achieving emotional health. That is why Christianity has caught on as it has. I remember that the Anglo-Saxon Protestant work ethic in which we were nurtured was very different from 'me-ism'. There wasn't even such a thing as a teenager in those days. Most of us accepted the work ethic, but that didn't mean that we couldn't see the faults of society - its snobbery, prejudice and narrow-mindedness. In the fallout from the hippie bomb these prejudices became abandoned or at least modified. The 'me-ism' generated by that explosion is a mephitic dust so prevalent, so pervasive that it is hard to realise that at one time it wasn't all around us. Perhaps 'me-ism' has helped us overhaul hidebound social attitudes of yesteryear. No doubt it has helped people resist social pressure to do things they don't want to; but it has its downside in that people are often neither willing nor able to cope with personal, family or marital problems with the dedication and steadfastness of the old days, probably because they are too busy fulfilling themselves. A new spirit is needed, a regard for reasonableness and justice, which will illuminate our society and our part in it.. We can then enjoy our freedom from the 'me-ism' of the present as well as from the prejudices and narrow- mindedness of the past.